Trading a Successful Life for An Epic Life

One of my favorite quotes is from Tom Brokaw. He was once quoted as saying, “It’s easy to make money, it’s a lot harder to make a difference.” From the inspiration of this quote I have developed the following saying, “It’s easy to live a successful life, it’s a lot harder to live an epic life.” For those of you who are frequent readers of my blog, you already know that epic means engaging, participating, interacting and creating. Living an epic life means trading off a mediocre life for an excellent life. Jim Collins refers to this as moving from Good to Great. Someone might criticize me and say, “Man, I have many riches and possessions. Do you call my life mediocre?” Yes. I still say mediocre if you are not engaged, participating, interacting and creating some value in society. And remember criticism that’s negative doesn’t contribute to the flow of goodness. 

For successful people, life is a destination – the attainment of wealth. When you begin to live an epic life, you understand that life is a journey. Any journey has intersections and those who win are the ones who make good trade-offs at the intersections of life. Bob Buford once said, “None of us know when we will die, but all of us, if we wish, can select our own epitaph”. We select our own epitaph based on the kind of life we live. Are you living an epic life? Are you pursuing a better life? If not, here are ten trade-offs worth making that can qualitatively improve your life and a question after each to prompt your decision-making. 

1. Affirmation for accomplishment – Are you going to be one of the boys and get the affirmation of mediocrity or will you step out of the herd and blaze a trail of accomplishment? 

2. Financial gain for future potential – Will you be enticed by the promises of wealth or will you live for an epic life based on your true capacity? 

3. Immediate pleasure for personal growth – Are you tempted by the life of ease and play now, or are you motivated by the desire for living your best life possible? 

4. Security for significance – Do you want to live a comfortable life of comfort and convenience or will you soar towards a better life in which you make an even greater difference in society? 

5. Acceptance for excellence – Are you going to settle for the acceptance of your peers and friends or will you aim for the excellence that comes from the pursuit of a cause that is greater than your personal dreams? 

6. Addition for multiplication – Are you satisfied with adding value to your community or will you go for the more rewarding joy of multiplying value to the world? 

7. Many things for one thing – Will you be a jack of all trades and master of none or will you stand out from the pack and be a master of one thing? 

8. Quantity for quality – Are you going to fill up your life with things and events or will you go for the right things and events? 

9. Stability for success – Is your prime desire to have a stable life or are you willing to tap into the joy of adding ? 

10. Work for family – Are you laboring at your work at the expense of your family or are you creating a legacy for those whom you love and society in general? 

Only through the wise use of trade-offs can we truly live an epic life.

 

How do you “c”?: Creativity versus Reactivity

In order to be in the flow of engaging, participating, interacting and creating, we need to be able to see things differently. Many people see society and their abilities in the light of limitations instead of abundance. The bulk of society is seated down, observing everything and critizing what is happening. Difference makers are usually standing up and doing something by creating newness in society.  

In our every day dealings, do we spend too much time on the horizontal that we fail to see our potential in the vertical? Is life all about what’s happening around us? Think about this. In a meeting, when you are horizontal you are sitting down but when you are vertical you are standing up. By getting vertical we can gain a bird’s eye view so that we have a bigger picture of what’s possible.

In the vertical we have an opportunity to be creative while in the horizontal we are always reactive. Creativity comes when we can ’C’ things differently. Notice that the difference between creative and reactive is in where you place the ‘c’. In being creative you ‘c’ first and then develop a game plan. In being reactive you ‘c’ in the midst of the situation. How do you ’c’ (see)? Are you seated and criticizing or are you standing up and doing something about it? Are you creative or reactive? C first!

Change as Foundational to Creativity and Key to Leadership

Let us look at the flow of life, with the river as our metaphoric guide. First thing you must realize is that you can’t step into the same river twice. The water at any point of the river is always changing – that’s the key to freshness! If we will stay fresh in the flow of our lives we must understand that change is contant. Change is foundational to creativity because you can’t bring in the new without getting rid of the old. Change is the key to leadership because a leader sees what others haven’t seen and helps them to see it for themselves.

People need to understand that change is part of life. Success in living an epic life requires a certain degree of openness to change. Most people struggle with handling change because it causes the 3 D’s – discomfort, disruption and dislocation. A crucial part of the process of handling change will involve helping people handle the dis’s and get pluses out them. Let us explore how we can do that:

Discomfort – Change requires difficult adjustments by people. Adjustments can cause stress and bring tension to groups. In some cases change has been known to lead to depression in some people and a mutiny from others. Uncertainty about the results of the change can bring fatigue and frustration. The key to avoiding all this is to ensure that people know in advance what to expect and how to deal with it. The discomfort of change can be prevented by preparing people adequately for the coming changes.

Disruption – When significant changes are made, some people experience personal pain at the loss of familiar things to which they had become very attached. This can be a source of great trauma. Leaders can help people by allowing them to verbalize their sense of loss and grief, and then gently pointing them to the benefits of the change and the bright new future ahead of them.

Dislocation - Any change, whether it involves new strategies, new programs, new equipment, new work procedures, new facilities, new management practices or new leaders, disrupts an existing order and leads to discontinuity. In a time of change, leaders should frequently explain what is happening and keep their people informed. People will be more optimistic if they know the change is progressing successfully. Leaders should frequently communicate what steps have been initiated, what changes have been completed and what resulting improvements have occurred.

Handling these three dis’s appropriately will be the key to avoiding the dreaded dis of change – disaster! In order for us to live epic lives – lives free of disaster – we must embrace change. Change is essential for creativity to flourish, change is necessary for leadership to prosper. In the next post we will discuss how we “see” in the quest for creativity.

Are You Living An Epic Life?

The epitome of true success in life is being able to live a life of significance. I call this an epic life. Significance is found in contributing towards causes that make the world a better place for fellow human beings. Zig Ziglar is famous for saying that “You can achieve anything you want in this world if you will help enough other people get what they want”. An epic life really begins when we live outside ourselves and share our lives with others.

Here are five fundamental keys to living an epic life. These are simple fundamentals that will empower you on your quest for significance:

1. Be a people-builder, not an ego-builder

The majority of human beings are focused on building their egos. To attain a significant life you must be a people-builder. people builders don’t do things because of what they get out of it. They contribute to enriching other people’s lives because they love people.

2. Embrace a bigger vision than self-pursuits

A person’s significance can be measured by the size of his or her vision. Does your vision include other people? If so, in what way? Is it about empowering and equipping others? Self-pursuits may gain us a few toys in life but they never bring true significance in life.

3. Seek opportunities to contribute

Life is shaped in our moments of contribution. People can be divided into two groups: those who contribute and those who consume. Contributors find increased value in life by pursuing a lifestyle of adding value to others. They are difference makers.   

4. Enlarge your concept of family

Most of us have a healthy understanding of our families and our place in those families. Significance demands that we think beyond our nuclear families to our place in the human family. By thinking in such manner, we are able to develop connections that enable us to significantly help others. 

5. Discover the power of giving

Giving comes in many forms. One can give of their time through volunteering, one can give money by making donations to difference making organizations and one can also give of their property to ensure that others live a better life. Through giving, we are able to change other people’s lives, and in so doing, we change ourselves!

Transitioning from Next Level Thinking to a Living a Life of Legacy

People today are consumed with the idea of going to the next level in their lives, be it in their relationships, careers, finances or other area of life. While this is great because it motivates them, I find it to be an idea that can limit our true potential. My paradigm is that we need to be consumed with the idea of the kind of legacy we will leave behind at the end of the seasons of our lives.

Thinking about your legacy every day, rather than thinking about the next level only, makes you a better leader. I also believe that thinking about a legacy makes you other-people centered while thinking about going to the next level tends to make one self-centered.

How do you transition from thinking about the next level to thinking about developing a legacy?

1. Be more focused on other people rather yourself

The idea of being a ‘people person’ has been around for a long time. Dale Carnegie’s 1936 masterpiece, ‘How to Win Friends and influence People’, has helped so many people over the years to develop a people-centered perspective that has enabled them to leave great legacies. I would highly suggest a reading of the book. 

2. Ask how you can help rather than what others can do for you.

President John F. Kennedy immediately became a world figure with his acceptance speech in which he said, ” And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you -ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.” In order to leave a legacy you must ascend in thought to where you are asking what you can do for others rather than what they can do for you. 

3. Be a giver more than a receiver

Nothing shapes a legacy more than the spirit of giving. When you give of yourself to others you become a part of the solution. It’s solution-centered thinking that sets the pace for the kind of legacy a person will leave behind. Again, when one is thinking of going to the next level, the pre-dominant question is “What can I get (or receive) that will take me to the next level?” When one is thinking of leaving a legacy, the pre-dominant question is “What can I give that will help others?” Be more of a giver and your legacy will be unshakable because the truth is that what we give is ours forever!

4. Be a leader more than a follower

Leaders impact and influence other people greatly. The great thing about being a leader is that you are able to take other people to the next level as you develop a legacy. What a beauty! Leaders pass along the best in themselves to other people. I’m always pleased when I hear from people I led in high school and at the university. They always say things like, “Herman, that idea was awesome. It took our group to a whole new level.” While those short-term moves were great for whichever group I led, the best thing is that a legacy was developed because even today they still talk about what we did.

Are you living for the next level or developing a legacy for and with your people? Start shaping your legacy today. 

Use your TALENT to Engage, Participate, Interact and Create

We are all born with talent. Every single human being has gifts and abilities that can be utilized in the betterment of society. However, very few are actually engaged in utilizing their talents to contribute to society. The key to fulfilment in life is using our talents for causes greater than our own personal ambitions and desires. True success is only found in a life that is given to helping others live better lives. Let us explore the idea of TALENT and how it can be used positively. 

Thinking cultivates talent – It’s one thing to have talent and it’s quite another to know how to exploit that talent. It’s the quality of thinking that separents talented achievers from talented underachievers. Learning how to think at a higher level is key to maximizing your talent.

Attitude sustains talent – Denis Waitley is fond of saying that the winner’s edge is in his attitude. Attitude shines and it is the key to maintaining a successful pursuit of one’s real talents. A great attitude will enable you to achieve so much more than you ever dreamt possible.

Leadership elevates talent – Talent can enable you to soar from obscurity into the limelight but it takes leadership to keep you in the limelight. Having a leadership bent and a mind for what it takes to stay at the top is key to utilizing talent efficiently. Your leadership skills will elevate your talent.

Excellence magnifies talent – A solid commitment to pure excellence is the foundation for the magnification of one’s talents. Doing everything with excellence creates room for you to extend your talents. Excellence also sets you apart from the crowd because most people are used to mediocrity.

Nature nurtures talents – Nothing is more natural than a person’s talents. The key to being able to develop your talent is to stay natural. Don’t be a cheap copy when you can be original! Your nature actually sets you apart and makes you a winner. You’ve got to stay connected to the essence of who you are as a person.

Trustworthiness secures talent – A lasting legacy comes from lasting qualities. Developing a reputation for trustworthiness enables you to secure the use of your talents. People want to be able to trust that you will deliver. The key to that is in being truthful and honest with them.

Designed and Engineered for Success

We all want to achieve success. Human beings are designed and born for success. Success, however, is not automatic. There are certain key things that we have to do consistently in order to really attain that which brings significance to our lives. Here are six key things that I believe will usher in success to anyone who applies them.

1. Set big goals and dreams and go after them – Every worthwhile pursuit in life begins with a dream. Dreams are the substance of life. Once you have a dream, you need to create step by step goals that will allow you to get that which you desire. Goals must be pursued diligently. Diligence is the guidepost to fulfillment in life.

2. Learn from every problem or obstacle you face – Problems, challenges, obstacles and crisis are great teaching schools. When problems arise, take notes and study them. Learn from your mistakes and that will enable you to not repeat them. True success comes through challenges and trials. The road to success is littered with problems and obstacles that were conquered by winners.

3. Learn the key skills you require for success – Skills separate the winners from the losers, the successful from the successful. One of the things that has helped me a lot over the years is studying the lives of successful people. They have all been people who amassed great skill at doing what takes them over the top. Learn the necessary skills and you will definitely make it to the top.

4. Get the support and cooperation of others – No man is an island. The day of the lone-ranger is over. Teamwork makes the dream work. If you will truly reach your potential, you must embrace the power of teaming up with others. The support of people around you is crucial. Develop an inner circle of people who will support you. Find mentors and learn from them. Create networks with successful people and add value to them.

5. Focus on priorities and concentrate on key tasks – Priorities are the pathways to success. Your priorities in life determine the quality of your results. Goals should be prioritized. High impact goals should befirst on your goals list. Clear set-up of priorities enables you to develop a powerful focus that directs your pursuit of your goals. The objectives that bring you the most reward in life should be the center of focus.

6. Develop persistence and unshakable self-confidence – Persistence and self-confidence go hand-in-hand. We all encounter obstacles in life but it is those who persists through the obstacles who will attain their full potential. Self-confidence sets you apart. Most people sabotage themselves by second-guessing their abilities and strengths. Don’t let doubt, uncertainty and societal barriers stop you. Success is yours for the taking.

Go for it!

How to Get Anything You Want

Zig Ziglar famously said, “You can get anything you want in this world if you can just help enough other people get what they want”. The truth is that if you do something nice for someone else, they will feel obligated to do something nice for you. That’s the power of reciprocity. I learnt this with a friend of mine the other day when I invited him and his family for a fully paid tour of an exhibition in our city. He was so delighted that all evening he kept on asking if there was anything he could do to help me.

You should always be looking for opportunities to help other people. Make it your goal that you will go the extra mile in helping people attain what they desire. Make it your personal goal to do more than you are paid for. Be committed to putting in more than you take out. When your input exceeds your output, your upkeep will be secure. By extending yourself, you improve your positioning in the other person’s mind. Few people have a concrete philosophy for helping others. Develop one for yourself and you will stand head and shoulders over many.

Truly Maximizing Your Life

We live in a world in which giving an average performance has become the norm. Most employees work just enough to keep from being fired and they are paid just enough to keep from quitting. Service in many industries is at best average. Very few companies and organizations stand out as excellent service providers. If we are going to attain our full potential, we must commit to being excellent at everything we do. Many times we talk a better game than we can play. We make big commitments to give our best but when the rubber meets the road, we come short and fail to provide what we had said we would.

Col. Harland Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken said, ”I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours nor amount of labor nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me”. A good study of his life will show us that the road to success is paved with a commitment to giving your very best on a daily basis. Now, the road to mediocrity is littered with sub-standard service and average performances. We need to break out of that cycle of average and truly give our best in everything we do. That is the key to truly maximizing our lives.

Focusing on the Critical Areas of Life

One of the most beautiful tools that we can use to change our lives is the idea that whatever we focus and dwell upon expands. Our attention, therefore, is very important. What we pay attention to becomes a dominant factor or force in our lives. There are two aspects to this:

a). Quality of Attention – There are varying degrees of attention. Our highest degree of attention should be given to things, people and activities that multiply value in our lives. What good will it profit us to pay attention to worthless things and rob the more important things in our lives of the time they deserve?

b). Quantity of Attention – How much attention we give the things, people and activities in our lives also matters. We want to live a well-balanced, all-round lifestyle. The key to this is to prioritize all these areas of our lives and allot time to them. As we do this, we also find that certain activities pair well with others and can be combined. This enables us to save on precious time.

Action Steps: Look at critical areas of your life. Are you paying adequate attention to all of this? Learn how to give good quality and quantity of time to things that matter and you will realize a lot more in life.